Feel My Pain!

Yesterday hub graciously offered to run to BJs to grab the few things we needed (I refuse to go any time other than 9 AM on a week day- gets too crazy in there!).

I made him a list and clipped two coupons to the back ( no reason to pay full price if we don’t have to!). One item is paper towels. We use only ONE kind of paper towel. In 15+ years, I’ve only ever bought one kind of paper towel: bounty, select-a-size, white (I hate cheesy paper towel designs!). I wrote this on the list, “Bounty, select-a-size, white. How could this go wrong- he uses paper towels, he’ll know.

Fast forward an hour to when he gets back and unloads the Bounty (good!), select-a-size (Great!), white (AMAZING!!!)… Wait for it….. Basic (what the hell is that?!!?! Basic?!??  God @$#% it! Son of a *#%¥&@! Crappy-ass paper, flimsy version of the real Bounty towels! You’ve GOT to be kidding me!)

Immediately I start conserving paper towels- I’ve got to make the good ones last! I don’t want to mention it to hub because I AM grateful that he did the shopping. And, technically, he bought what I asked for…. But, I can’t live with these crappy paper towels- our lives will be ruined I tell you! Then, he casually mentions that he forgot to use the coupon – GASP!!!! It’s all over now! It’s 8:49 AM right now and I’m sitting outside BJs, waiting for the clock to strike 9:00 (that’s when they unlock the doors!) so I can run in, return these stupid “paper towels,” (that’s right! I air quoted them! They’re not REAL paper towels!) and fix this mess.

#ChristmasIsSaved

Ewwww.

On my way to run errands the other day, I received a call that was very important. And, because I am a responsible driver, I pulled over to the side of the road to take the call. This is a residential road that cuts between two of the main roads in town- so it’s lined by houses and sees quite a bit of local traffic. As I’m talking, a utility truck pulls in front of me and one of the workmen gets out, goes up in the lift, and trims some branches from around the powerlines. When he’s done, he hops back down off the truck and opens a little door on the side- I assume to put away equipment. As I watch him, I notice his stance and think: hmmmm No! He’s not going to pee right there, is he??? Right in front of me? Right in front of someone’s house? Right on the road? Right on his truck? Ewww. Of course I continue to watch and, yes, a puddle appears around his feet. Ewww. He just peed in front of me. That’s not even the best part! When he’s done, he proceeds to walk right through his pee and get into his work truck! Ewwww! Gross!!!
Silver lining: later that day I was picking up my friend’s sons (ages 11 and 13)…. And I had a story for them… They were unimpressed and countered with a story about Manhatten ( they’d just been the weekend before) – they told me people pee on the street all the time there. Not to be shown up by a couple of pre-teen boys, I returned with people pooping in El’s parking lot. Close call. But it was a short ride and I was able to drop them off before things got gross.

Lego

Lego Kit Fisto
Lego Kit Fisto

I was sitting on the floor surrounded by Lego and my 2 boys and dog the other day. I like to start my Lego-ing with some light sorting. Suddenly there is a noodle-headed dude in my muffin tin of brown bricks. “Hey! What’s with this noodle-headed dude?” I say. This is met with sniggering, at least one pair of eyes rolling, and a dismissive (?), “that’s Kit Fisto.” Like I should have known. And truth be told, maybe I should have known. Lego Kit Fisto and I go way back. Back to when Lego Kit Fisto went missing, temporarily. And I (foolishly) mistook him for Sebulba, flying Sebulba’s pod racer around my kitchen. Why would anyone but Sebulba be in that pod racer? duh. Kit Fisto turned up behind a closet door a day or so later. How on earth did I not recognize him all these years later? It’s not like he changed…

 

I love boys

My boys had a friend over one day last week… or rather, one of the days last week when this one friend was over… I caught the three of them offering each other a dollar to sit on the electric scat mat on the couch.

I don’t think this is something little girls do… is it? I am a girl but I don’t have girls. And while I would totally pay any one of my friends a dollar to sit on the scat mat NOW, I don’t think I would have at age 11.

Dog vomit and other holiday adventures

Ever wonder what a dog’s vomit would look like if he downed a candy dish full of Hershey kisses? Well wonder no more…

You can see all the sparkly bits of foil.
You can see all the sparkly bits of foil.

That’s my new living room rug under the vomit.

My father in law also arrives later today. For 2 weeks. Unfortunately (not really) I have work commitments tonight, tomorrow night, Wednesday night, and then drinks out with some girlfriends Thursday night. I still have some flu-ishness happening (the chaser to my Thanksgiving stomach bug), but I plan to power through and attend all of these things. I think it will make me more friendly and chatty and super eager to wait on people hand and foot. I also have some more Christmas shopping to do as, apparently, that’s my jorb. All of it. I think these are going to be a really good 2 weeks.

Thanks for the Sapling Ellen!